Always
by courderouge2006
Summary: Clark has always wanted to be a normal guy. Now he gets the chance... but will he take it? "Always" by Saliva. Season 8-ish.


A different type of fic than I usually do. "Always" by Saliva. I own none of this. Please review.

--

Clark gasped on the floor of the warehouse, feeling the green kryptonite weakening his body. He didn't know who these guys were, but they were organized. In the back of his mind he remembered a crew like this that had found him last year. They had been hired by Lionel. But now… well, it was a fairly safe bet that Lionel Luthor wasn't behind this now.

"Well hello Mr. Kent."

He looked up, seeing a tall man of slight build, glasses and a doctor's mask covering his face. Balling up his fists, Clark pushed himself slowly up off of the floor to his knees. "Hey… have we… met?" he asked, trying his best to hide the pain he felt burning through him.

The man stepped closer and, before Clark could react, jammed a needle into his neck. Clark stared at it in his peripheral vision, noticing a deep blue liquid being injected into his body. His eyes went wide at the implications of what this mystery liquid could do. "What… what did you just do to me?"

Handing the needle to one of the other men, the tall man stood before Clark with his hands clasped behind his back. "I have given you a chance at a normal life, son."

Fighting the pain of the green K harder, Clark forced himself up to his knees. "First of all… don't call me son. Secondly, what do you mean a normal life? I have a perfectly normal life as it is."

The man laughed. "Clark… you don't have to lie to me. We've been watching you. We were hired by some gentleman who saw it in their best interest if you were taken out of the equation… permanently."

Clark's face hardened, his fists clenching tighter. "Is that so?" He pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, putting all of his concentration into not showing weakness.

"You're a freak Clark. An outcast of society that no one will want anything to do with once you're exposed. And it is only a matter of time until you are exposed, trust me. But, we couldn't take the chance of a senator's son going missing. So…" He held up a small blue vial. "We found out how to take away your… freakiness."

The man waved a hand and the men pulled the containers of green Kryptonite away. Clark felt the waves of nausea leave his body, and he pounced. Diving at the man closest to himself, he pulled back a hard punch… and felt his hand crack when it came in contact with the guys jaw. "AHHH!" Clark had time to grab his hand before he was doubled over with a hard shot to his ribs, then a knee to the face.

Clark had enough sense left to focus on the voice above him as he felt his broken nose gush. "Tsk tsk Mr. Kent. That's not a good way to thank me for finally making you human. I gave you… humanity."

_**I hear... a voice say don't be so blind...  
Its telling me all these things...  
That you would probably hide...**_

"This is how it will go Clark. We will keep you here long enough to weaken you to the point your body won't reject the implant." He held up a chunk of blue Kryptonite. "Once this is inside of you, you won't be able to remove it without surgery, and I'm sure you wouldn't be able to explain how this got in you… or why."

_**Am I... your one and only desire...  
Am I the reason you breathe...  
Or am I the reason you cry...**_

Clark tried to sit up, groaning.

The tall man pushed him back down. "Don't fight it Clark, it is going to happen. Don't you want to finally be one of them? To be normal? To be a human being? Deep down, haven't you longed for humanity?"

_**Always... always... always... always... always... always...  
I just can't live without you...**_

Clark lurched up, taking a swing at the man, barely grazing his chin.

The tall man sighed as he fixed the mask back into place. He nodded at the man in the center of the squad as he stood and walked off.

Clark was able to once again grasp one part of humanity right away… excruciating pain.

_**I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't get around you  
I breathe you...  
I taste you...  
I can't live without you...  
I just can't take anymore...  
This life of solitude...  
I guess that Im out the door...  
And now Im done with you...**_

He yelled out when he was thrown into the small cell, his legs buckling as he fell face first into the metal wall.

He didn't move for hours, just trying to let the cool metal take some of the pain out of his body. Finally standing, he refused to let out another groan, he refused to give them that much. The cell was bare except for a small cot, a sink and a small toilet, if it could be called that. Turning on the water, Clark tried to wash his face off. Glancing up, he saw his reflection in the small mirror above the sink. He was bruised and bloody.

Clark remembered another major lesson in humanity… weakness.

_**I feel... like you don't want me around...  
I guess I'll pack all my things...  
I guess I'll see you around...**_

Sneering at his reflection, Clark trashed everything he could in the room… which was the mirror and the cot.

He grabbed the cell door, yanking on it, trying to pull it loose but it was useless. He was just a weak man now. He was just… human.

_**It's all... been bottled up until now...  
As I walk out your door...  
All I can hear is the sound...**_

Clark had wanted to be normal for so long. He had even had a couple of chances before, but it never lasted. Now he was facing the chance at being a normal person. But it wasn't right. None of this was right.

People needed him to be like he was. They needed him to be a freak, even if they'd never accept him for it.

The guard outside his door cringed at the pained scream he heard echoing through the hallway outside the cell.

_**Always... always... always... always... always... always...  
I just can't live without you...**_

It had been almost two weeks now. Clark was injected with the blue liquid daily, and he couldn't do anything to stop them. The man always had green Kryptonite held in a box in the lab so that Clark would know what was in store if he resisted, but he hadn't had to use it in ten days. Clark finally gave up fighting, hoping that he could get some of his strength back…

But it hadn't happened yet.

Clark had to resort to drastic measures.

After his injection that morning, Clark turned to be led back to his cell… but he lunged at the man again, grabbing at his throat, slamming him back into the table with all his instruments. Clark didn't let go as he felt rock hard fists slamming into his back and ribs. He held on for dear life… but the gun butt to his temple was too much.

Clark slumped to the floor, blood pouring out of his temple.

"Get him out of here!" the tall man screamed, his voice hoarse. "In his cell… and make sure he knows it's useless to fight us anymore!"

The guards dragged Clark's limp body into the cell, laying their boots into his body before they left him alone and bleeding on the floor.

Clark came to hours later, gasping for air. Pushing himself up slightly, he reached into his pocket to find the real reason he'd fought back today.

He held the small box in his hand. The box that contained a chunk of Green Kryptonite.

It had helped him to get Red K out of his system by sweating it out. Would it work for Blue K?

Clark swallowed, staring at the box. He knew he had no choice… and pushed the box lid open, grabbing the shard in his hand, thrusting it against his chest.

_**I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't get around you..  
I breathe you...  
I taste you...  
I can't live without you...**_

The guards saw Clark curled up in the fetal position all day and most of the night, moaning to himself. The squad leader grinned, enjoying the fact he had brought the most powerful freak they had ever heard of to tears. "Rest up freak. Maybe it'll be over soon… if you're lucky."

Clark could barely hear the footsteps get further away through the pounding in his head. His dry lips cracked open long enough for one word. "Ditto."

_**I just can't take anymore...  
This life of solitude...  
I guess that Im out the door...  
And now Im done with you...**_

Clark managed to hide the hunk of rock in the toilet, but it must not have gone away. He still felt the affects, holding him down. He didn't know if it had worked or not. He didn't know if he had doomed himself.

_**I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't live without you...**_

When they came in and grabbed him, he couldn't even stand under his own power. Clark felt sick, knowing he was doomed.

_**I left my head around your heart...  
Why would you tear my world apart...**_

He barely held his head up as he was pulled into the room for his injection again. The tall man was standing with the needle… a much bigger needle this time. "Mr. Kent. I hope you learned a lesson yesterday. Do not… delay… the inevitable."

Clark was thrown into the gurney hard enough for it to roll. He felt heat on his hand and started to jerk it away… until he saw a small ray of sunlight hitting his fingers.

And he felt it.

_**Always... always... always... always...**_

It was right there under the surface, like always.

The man was walking back towards Clark when he heard a loud pop and felt something splash his face. He looked at the shattered needle in his hand, and then at Clark just in time to see his eyes glowing a soft orange. "Whatever you say doc."

Clark jumped off the gurney, slamming his shoulder into the squad leader, sending him flying into a stack of crates across the room. Clark hit one knee, still weaker than he usually was. He heard a loud click and turned just in time to see a pistol aimed at his head.

The loud crack of thunder filled the room, acrid gunpowder burning in the man's nostrils as he stared at the kneeling man… who had a bullet sticking partway out of the side of his forehead.

Clark groaned his hand going up to pull the bullet out. It had broken skin, and dammit it hurt like hell when it hit him. Grabbing the soldier by his collar, Clark gritted his teeth. "I'm gonna feel bad about this later, just so you know."

The man couldn't say a word as he was thrown hard toward the ceiling, ripping through the metal roof with ease.

Clark felt the sunlight hit him and he felt… whole. He turned, staring down the rest of the squad. "Who's next?"

--

The tall man had run when Clark exhibited his powers. He was grabbing papers, files, anything that he needed to destroy to make sure this never got linked to his bosses. He clipped his briefcase closed when he heard a loud explosion rip through the warehouse. Glass exploded inside his office, raining down on him, nicking at his skin and hands as he tried to cover up.

Turning after the glass stopped flying, he saw fire filling the room beyond his office. Gripping his briefcase handle he turned toward the back exit to run… but he heard something. It sounded like… footsteps? Eyes wide, he looked out the window, nothing but white hot flames filling his vision.

A tall silhouette came into view, kicking the section of wall under the window away. The man jumped out of the way of burning debris as it came toward him.

"Leaving so soon doc?"

He finally looked up… seeing a very angry Clark Kent standing in the flames.

_**I see... the blood all over your hands...  
Does it make you feel... more like a man...  
Was it all... just a part of your plan...  
The pistol shakin in my hands...  
And all I hear is the sound...**_

Clark stood on the roof across the street from the warehouse, watching fire crews trying to put out the flames. He could have done it himself, but he thought it best to let the evidence in their burn away. All of it except what he held.

Clark flipped through the files, seeing various names of crime lords he had heard of before. These men had paid for him to be taken out of the picture. He would pay very close attention to them in the time to come.

Making sure the police found all the men and guns that were left behind out of harms way, he turned and sped off for home… finally.

--

Clark sat in the loft, staring out at the fields before him. It had been three days since he had made it back home. Plenty of time to think.

He had a chance to live without the powers, but he had put his life in danger and subjected himself to the worst torture he knew to get them back.

And he still couldn't explain to himself why he had done it.

_**I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't live around you...  
I breathe you...  
I taste you...  
I can't live without you...**_

His relationship with Lana. His father's health. His own childhood. All of these had been victims of the perils of his powers. They had all been affected by his being a super powered alien, and they had all ended on a not so great note.

Losing the woman he fawned over for most of his life. Losing his father, a man he loved and wanted to be like more than anyone else. The usual childhood of sleepovers and parties that he couldn't have because of a fear he'd use his powers accidentally and hurt someone.

_**I just can't take anymore...  
This life of solitude...  
I guess that Im out the door...  
And now Im done with you...**_

"Why? You could have had it all. Why did you screw that up?"

Clark had no more answers for that than he did the first time he had this conversation with himself.

Clark walked around the loft, but he stopped when he passed the shelf. Lifting a framed photo, he smiled for the first time in days. It was his family and friends at the 4th of July picnic from back in high school. His parents were smiling, his dad holding his mom. Chloe and Pete were under Clark's arms, acting like they were doing pull ups.

And Lex was there.

The doctor's words came back to him. _"Don't you want to finally be one of them? To be normal? To be a human being? Deep down, haven't you longed for humanity?"_

And as he stared at his past friend's stoic face, Clark finally understood.

_**I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't live without you...  
I just can't take anymore...  
This life of solitude...**_

He wasn't missing his humanity. It had been instilled in him all throughout his life by his parents and his friends. Everything that happened made him better in a way. And that was a lesson Lex had never learned.

Failure didn't make you weak. It just made you…

"Human."

_**I pick myself off the floor...  
And now Im done with you...**_

Clark picked himself up from the floor in front of the sofa, smiling as he put the picture back on the shelf.

Clark walked down the steps of the loft, smiling the whole way.

He didn't have to lose his powers to gain his humanity.

Clark had always had it.

_**Always...  
Always...  
Always...**_


End file.
